puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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