so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
