Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Randomize
