I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
