even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
NoShamevember. You game?
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
Randomize
