He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Randomize
