kristin has been a bad kristin
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
