Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
