please come you make the beer taste better
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
