yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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