I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
