Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize