ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Randomize
