it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
