You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
