All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
