I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize