That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
