i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
