He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
