I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Randomize
