do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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