You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
