i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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