Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Mom said you looked used
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
