Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Randomize
