I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
