so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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