His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
how do you play pong handcuffed?
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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