I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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