if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
