So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Randomize