this just has baby written all over it
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
