remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
