i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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