you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
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