apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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