she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
