The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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