I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
I have demons in me.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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