I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
