I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
