A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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