Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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