you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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