your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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