Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
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Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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