i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
