You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
