Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
