Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize