she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
