Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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