dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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