So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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