I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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