i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
