I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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